This Darkness
by Scribe of Turesa
Summary: In which Leo reflects on a few things he's discovered about his family....a curse he has gained that has become a blesssing...
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Nope...unfortunatly...don't own 'em.**

**Prologue: **

**Leo's POV**

Shadows....darkness...light...sunshine...it makes no difference to me anymore...

Two months ago I lost my sight defending my brothers, Donatello and Mikaelangelo, Hun took my sight with a flick of his knife. Darkness has been my realm since then, black....empty.

I've only recently dared to touch my blades, to train with them again, afraid I'd injure those I saught to protect. Afraid one wrong movement would snatch their life away....I could never live with that....I want to protect them too much.

April got carpet the other day and brought it down here, she put it about a foot from everything, any barrier, wall, table, etc. I was annoyed at first...well I was out right ticked off...but yeah. I honestly felt like I was being babied, cuddled, like they were holding my hand. I threw a fit, very mature I might add, and acctuatlly hit Raph pretty hard....I have to admit though I'm glad she did, I'm grateful now...I've stopped runing into things as much, though there is still the stray object I'll step on or trip over, causing me to fall, but for the first time in a long time my feet and shins arn't covered in bruises.

I've enoticed that all my other senses have become more acute, much more heightened. My hearing, smell, touch, and even taste have become more sesitive.

For a while I had a hard time knowing who was around me....unless they spoke....then I began picking up on things....


	2. Chapter 1: Raphael

**Disclaimer: don't own them.**

**Chapter 1:Raphael**

Its funny you know...what I've noticed about my family...what makes each unique...take Raph for example I've learned to recongize him with all my senses.

Hearing:

Raph...his voice was the easiest for me to pick up on....that rough brooklyn accent he insists on using. Just the way he pronounces his words tells me it's him. The way he breathes...like a locomotive when he's angry..quick, sharp, huffing, breaths...deep and smooth when he's calm. When he walks...I _can feel _them as much as I hear them. He takes heavy steps...sure...confident.....arrogent...

I laugh...I can't help it.

Smell:

He smells of oil, greese...salt, his sweat...copper and iron,blood...old leather, his wrist bands and the hilts of his Sais.

Touch:

I feel his steps, sense the power in him as he walks.... his hands are rougher than the others', he's always gentle though when he helps me get up.... I can feel the bulge of muscle under his skin when I grip his arm for support...I feel the power in his hands when I grip a hold...

...strange I guess I never really thought about how strong he was...he could probably snap one of my arms like a twig if he wanted to...I know he can throw a good punch...he nearly broke my jaw once...

I can litterally feel the anger come off him in waves when he's ticked, its like being by a forge...weird how I never noticed it before...

Taste:

Weird to think about...but you can _taste_ things...Raph always has the bitter tang of metal and oil on him, a touch of saltyness in the air around him and I've noticed a touch of peppermint on his breath before, when he bent down to help me stand....crazy thing to think about I know...

Over all I've learned what that Raph is...or rather what makes him...him...crazy what you find out when darkness takes you...

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	3. Chapter 2: Donatello

**Disclaimer: nope**

**Chapter 2: Donatello**

You know thinking about how much I've learned about my brothers I've come to notice things about each one...you know things that make them...well them...take Don for example...I know he's the wiz of the family and a medic to all of us but..I guess...I never really knew how much made up _him._

Hearing:

He's got a gentle voice, unwavering...quiet...he takes his time before speaking..I swear I can hear his brain going sometimes...his voice his softer and a little higher than Raph's rough and deep voice. Don...he dosen't breathe..well yah now...he sort of just gets air...all I ever hear is a soft "huh-ah" a quick little breath...well unless he's fighting or upset then he like practically hyperventilates...more from worry I know then fear...

...I guess its kinda the same...I wonder if I used to breathe like that when one of my brother's got hurt?

...when he walks...he takes light quick steps...like he's constantly hurrying..rushing around...I swear he trips over more things than me sometimes though...and he can_ see_.

Smell:

He has this electrical sent around him constantly...I swear if I didn't know better I'd think he was a robot or something...he just smells like machines...I can smell chemicals, both medical and scientific on him...there's just a touch of oil on him too...barely...but its there.

Coffee...he smells like the dark-blend roasted coffe he makes in the morning or when he's pulling an all nighter...which I wish he wouldn't do...

Touch:

Weridly so his hands are the softest of the four of us...asked him why and he said he had to otherwise he's tare us up worse when he stitched us up...pluse he said it makes it easier to hold his tools and sense when a spark is coming...if he keeps his hands soft...never pegged Don as the kind of guy who'd acctually lotion his hands....weird...he laughed at me when I asked about it...He might be smaller than both Raph and I but...dang is he strong! I just about had a heart attack when he jerked me off my feet when I bumped one of his racks in the lab and it tried to kill me...He has I think the strongest grip out of all of us....He's gentle though exspecally when he changed the bandages on my face...like he thinks I was made of glass...they didn't think I was going to make it...now he treats me like I'm going to fall apart if I stub my toe...I'm gratefull though for his gentle touch...'cus that gash _hurt_ everytime it got bumped I nearly screamed...when he took the stiches out...he barely touched my face...the stiches were out before I knew it...

Taste:

I know...weird subject again..but hey...its what I use now...ever tasted metal? Don...one word...I swear he sweats it out...I can literally taste the chemicals on him and I swear I nearly threw up once...trust me they taste disgusting....I don't know how he can stand it.

Crazy...Don...I laugh...

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	4. Chapter 3: Michaelangelo

**Disclaimer: still no...**

**Chapter 3: Michaelangelo**

Its weird...how much you learn about people...when you lose your sight...its like meeting them all over again...

Hearing:

I swear Mike_ never_ ever stops talking...I swear he talks in his sleep...his voice his the highest out of the four of us...I'll have to ask Don if Mike has even...ya know possibly hit puberty yet...'cus I swear he sounds like he's twelve still....I used to think he stopped talking...but now I know he just gets quiet...I can still hear him now though...

...I threw pillow at him the other day in an attempt to shut him up....it hit Raph instead...

Mike, although annoying, is full of laughter...his voice is full of it...I guess its kind of infectious...'cus I started laughing like an idiot the other day all they all thought I finally snapped...It was _hilarious_...

Mike takes hard quick steps..his feet slapping the floor in his haste...and of course he runs into stuff...again...he can _see_...

Smell:

Mike...ah..candy...get the pitcure? I swear he sweats sugar...he smells constantly of junk food, pop, and anything sugary...it like clings to him... the _only_ time he smells any different is after practice and then he just reaks of BO...he really needs better deodorant...

Touch:

His hands are as calaused as mine....and he accutally has a good bit of muscle hidden under all of that sugary flab...just kiding I don't think there's an once of fat on him...when I was still weak he was the one who gave me sponge baths...hated every minute of it...want to really embarass me force me to get cleaned by one of my brothers...pure torture...anyway...where Don is gentle...Mike is _careful..._Don treats me like glass...Mike treated me like a flippin' china doll...he was always over gentle and wouldn't touch untill I said he could...thank God...unfortunaly that meant he watches me like a hawk..some of it I think is that he's worried that I'll get hurt...that knife was meant for him...

Taste:

Sugar...candy...sugar...sugar...anyone have some Mountain Dew? I'm thirsty all of the sudden...sugar...

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	5. Chapter 4: Master Splinter

**Disclaimer: sigh...still no...runs after Leo and tackles him with a hug....**

**Chapter 4:Master Splinter**

My father...how much I didn't see with my eyes...

Hearing:

He has a rich voice...it wavers some...I can hear the age creaping into it...snatching at his strength...He walks stifly...I wonder why I never noticed it before....I can hear his joints popping and creaking with every step...hear his almost silent moans with every movement...it made me angry at first, that the others let him walk around so much like this...but then I realized they couldn't hear it....it pains me...I never knew how much his body ached him...is he really this old? His breathing is sort'a raspy....I shutter a little...fighting back tears...how long will it be untill we lose him?

Smell:

The sents of insense, smoke, and tea seem to follow him...cling to his frame...his fur...he smells like old books...Indian ink...earth...dirt...like the garden he keeps that he things none of us know about...

Touch:

His hands are rough on the palms but the tops are sort's soft and bristly at the same time...like the rest of his fur...he's skinnier then I remember...a reminder that age is catching up...his tail is rough almost scalely...he uses it to guide me to him sometimes...showing me where it is safe to walk. His hands are gentle when he tipps my head to check the healing wounds....gentle as he hugs me close and tells me that he is proud of me...

Taste:

Tea...and...smoke, from his candles..whispers of what he is...

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	6. Chapter 5: April O'Neil

**Disclaimer: hugs Leo..."nope but I wish I did" Leo squirms trying to get away....gasping for air...**

**Chapter 5: April O'Neil**

There are people who come to think of as family....they aren't by blood but....in the heart they are...I smile when I think about April.

Hearing:

Her voice is full of hope and I can always tell when she's smiling...an added...I don't know how to describe it...like her voice gets lighter....her voice is kinda like...um...soft bells...real gentle...comforting...like she is...she has this special spring in her step...like she could start dancing any second...she breathes real soft...softer than Don...she kind'a hums when she's happy...dum...dum..da..da...dum..

Smell:

She always wears the same perfume....jasmine and roses...I think...with maybe a touch of honeysuckle...she always smells clean....like she just took a shower...her conditioner mixes sents with her perfume...maybe thats the honeysuckle....

...fresh baked chocolate-chip...cookies....um...I'm hungry for them now...

Touch:

gentle...careful...her hands are soft...she's warm when she holds me close in a hug....warmer than Master Splinter...when I first woke up...after I thought they all had left she was the one who held me when I cried....rubbing my carapce gently...she wipped the tears away so carefully...I barely felt it...

Taste:

yeah...I know....weird...but everyone has a "Taste"....April tastes like...I don't really know how to describe it....the air around her tastes like fresh baked cookies....sweet tea...

April...the only big sister I've ever known...the only person who seems to understand the burden I've carried...I could talk to her when I couldn't talk to Master Splinter...

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	7. Chapter 6: Casey Jones

**Disclaimer:unfortunately still no...I do own a Bagel's Map turtle though!! His name is Spike (My sister named him...i would've named him Leo!! :) )**

*** I lied...this is the last chapter!!***

*****Ok all my faithful reviewers I'm having a delema go to my profile page and read my "upcoming" stories and help me decide what sounds the best to start with*****

**Chapter 6:Casey Jones**

Casey is one of the craziest people I've ever met...but he is also one of the most loyal...still he's crazy...The nut...I shake my head...

Hearing:

His voice is deeper than Raph's, rougher, and like Raph's it screams "tough guy". Casey breathes in slightly erratic and annoying "huffs" never ceasing to amaze me that he can actually run without running out of breath....he walks or rather stumbles with heavy, hard, awkward steps...an accident waiting to happen...

I chuckle...

Smell:

Casey has the constant sent of grease, motor oil, gasoline, sweat, and a calone I can't name around him. The calone I know is an attempt to mask the other sents...his feeble attempt to impress April....I still have no idea what she sees in the nut...

Touch:

The few times Casey has helped me to my feet after a fall I have noticed the callouses on his hands, the firmness of his grip, and the strength in his frame. He's stronger than Raph...

Taste:

Casey has the tang of motor oil in the air around him and a saltiness that can only be sweat...

Casey might be the nut in our little family but he's still family...still there for us when we need him to be...the best distraction we could ever want and defiantly the craziest person ever...

I laugh smiling as I reflect on various instantces where Casey's "expertease" was needed.

April's voice breaks into my thoughts.

"Leo its time to eat!" she calls. It then that I realize I'm hungry. My stomach rumbles as i sway to my feet.

In this darkness I lose track of time but it is through this darkness that I came to know my family better...to pick up on their moods...their very essance...

Darkness has become my Light....

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